BULWER-LYTTON PROSE WRITING CONTEST

23rd Annual Jefferson MS Edition

Can you write the worst opening sentence to a novel in literary history?

 

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

 --Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

 

“Anything worth doing at all is worth doing badly.” –G. K. Chesterson (famous writer guy)

 

Entry Rules:  Remember, Dare to Write Badly

At least one entry is required for a grade.  A maximum of five total entries.  Maximum of two in a genre/category.  Also directly from the international contest itself:

·        Each entry must consist of a single sentence. That means only one period.  Period.

·        Sentences may be of any length (though you go beyond 50 or 60 words at your peril), and entries must be "original" (as it were) and previously unpublished. That means no stolen jokes!  Suspicious submissions will be Google searched.

Genres/Categories:  Chosen for Popularity and Badness Potential

  • Romance
  • Science Fiction
  • Mystery/Detective
  • Horror
  • Icky Teen/Young Adult Fiction With Characters Who Don’t Talk/Think Like “Young Adults”
  • Harry Potter
  • Fantasy
  • Boring, Uninformative Middle School Textbooks
  • Vile Puns

 

Prizes:  Chosen Because Money is Always in Good Taste

All prize-winners will be read aloud in a very formal ceremony which may include trumpets.  The winner of each category will receive the traditional “dishonorable mention” prize for all 23  Bulwer-Lytton contests:  Melba toast.  Three Grand Prize winning entries will receive cold hard cash (actually semi-warm paper currency).  These prizes are:

           

1st Prize:          $20

2nd Prize:         $10

3rd Prize:         $5

 

Deadline to submit entries:               Wednesday, August 22nd (entries will be read aloud during class)

 

Reading of the prize-winners:           During all classes, Friday, August 24th

 

Back to Humanities HomePage